Snark Sharks

  [/caption] Sensing another season slipping away the New York Yankees are determined to make injury prone prima donna Carl Pavano pitch some time this year. This is akin to renting a convertible and driving with the top down even if it rains simply because you paid for the [...]

  [/caption] Desperate for big men or just in search of a good laugh Italian basketball club Premiata Montegranano has taken responsibility for supervising the overweight alcoholic formerly known as Shawn Kemp (story). Once a fearsome power forward nicknamed the “man-child” the 6’10” Kemp quickly deteriorated in drink and [...]

  [/caption] With no marquee name at quarterback, typical apathetic Los Angeles fans and a 49-17 drilling of Illinois (yawn) in last year’s Rose Bowl (snore) the Trojans of Southern Cal are in need of some buzz. Unfortunately all Coach Pete Carroll’s kids have been able to do so far [...]

  [/caption] The United States government announced that by the year 2042 white people would no longer make up the majority of Americans (story). This projection is now eight years ahead of a previous calculation. However, common sense and eyesight have revealed that whitey was surpassed officially in [...]

  [/caption] Bored with the Olympics and tired of watching the United States browbeat easy prey Russia decided to tune up their armed forces with a quick rout of Georgia in a non-sanctioned division match last weekend. Russian Prime Minister [...]

  [/caption] With September bearing down on us it’s time to put an end to one of football’s greatest fashion faux pas’… the faggy whites. The evolution of gladiators deserves better than the Navy’s dress clothes. Colonel Jessup set the record [...]