Snark Sharks

  [/caption] Today the Miami Dolphins bucked convention and nixed tradition when they simultaneously named Ronnie Brown the new starting quarterback in a wishbone style offense and also rejected a referendum to have the team name and logo changed to the Miami Blow with a controversial mascot fueling the debate. [...]

[/caption] Our once mighty and proud country is descending rapidly into bankrupt institutions, corrupt leaders and shoddy morals. As Wall Street crashes, banks default and our military fights a fictitious enemy across the world the time has come for this once free nation to elect the only [...]

  [/caption] Al Davis, the weird little owner of the Oakland Raiders, isn’t sure if he fired head coach Lane Kiffin or not (story). Davis has a reputation for being a feisty little cracker but now nearing his 80th birthday he has become forgetful, prone to bad [...]

  [/caption] Today the NCAA came down hard on Ohio State by prohibiting the Buckeyes from playing in any meaningful games until they can show clear evidence that they are able to compete. Following last night’s debacle against USC, a 35-3 loss (recap) and the last two BCS [...]

    [/caption] Allianz, a large insurance and financial services provider headquartered in Munich, Germany today announced it would no longer pursue naming rights for the new Giants/Jets stadium in New Jersey (story). The international insurance provider once insured the death camps run by Adolph Hitler’s SS during World War II. [...]

  [/caption] Today scientists at the CERN fired up the Large Hadron Collider located in a small suburb northwest of Geneva on the border between France and Switzerland sending it’s first protons through a 17 mile tunnel (story). The $9 billion experiment funded by 20 European states will [...]

  [/caption] Having missed an important military parade marking the 60th anniversary of the failed communist state known as North Korea many intelligence analysts are confirming what every North Korean malnourished citizen already knows, Kim-Jong-il is sick (story). The villain cliche with movie star shades, khaki jumpsuit [...]

In a move that smacks of neo-communism the United States government announced it was seizing control of troubled mortgage lenders Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae to stem the bleeding each has caused to mortgage and credit rates (thanks…?). The US government will commit $200 billion it doesn’t have to the moron lenders who have been [...]

    [/caption] Despite beating the Kansas City Chiefs 17-10 this afternoon New England Patriot owner Robert Kraft has threatened to boycott the season due to an injury suffered by All-Pro QB Tom Brady in the first quarter (recap). Kraft was fuming after the win that saw backup Matt Cassel fill [...]

  [/caption] By now you all know that the receiver formerly known as Chad Johnson has legally changed his name to Chad Ocho Cinco, which literally translates into Chad Eight Five. Had Chad wanted to reflect his uniform #85 in Spanish he should have chosen Ochenta y Cinco [...]