Snark Sharks

 

Ex-Florida Gator football coach Steve Spurrier returned to the Swamp yesterday with his Gamecocks from South Carolina and got a rude welcome from his former mates. The Gators ripped South Carolina a new one to the tune of 56-6 and if you can believe it the beating was even worse than the score. It was a fitting slap in the face to Spurrier who relished running the score up on lesser opponents when he was the man in Gainesville.

 

 

The Gamecocks were out gained in total yards (519-173), committed four turnovers and managed only two Ryan Succop field goals. South Carolina was ranked 25th in the Associated Press poll and with seven wins are bowl eligible but after such a dismal performance it will be interesting to see if any bowl committee scouts even bother to pass along an invite.

 

 

Spurrier was the face of Florida football throughout the 1990’s taking the Gators to a national title in 1996 but since his departure for NFL riches (a sorry move that almost ruined the Washington Redskins) he has yet to recapture the magic that made his teams the high scoring machines they were. However, Florida hasn’t skipped a beat winning another title with new head coach Urban Meyer and consistently ranking near the top of not only the SEC but also every major poll from the ESPN Coaches to the BCS. With each unimpressive season that passes the luster of the Ole Ball Coach diminishes and yesterday’s ugly rout will have repercussions on the South Carolina campus as frustrated alumni boosters wonder how Nick Saban can resurrect Alabama in one year while Spurrier continues to languish with the Gamecocks.

 

 

 

 

 

Sticking to the Sunshine State the Snark puts a sell recommendation on the Bulls from South Florida. Coming into the season the Bulls were a popular pick to win the Big East, compete for a BCS bowl bid and perhaps the national title. But yesterday Rutgers took the Bulls behind the woodshed and spanked them silly 49-16. Folks in the American tropics were under the impression that schools like USF and Central Florida were ready to overtake traditional powers Miami and Florida State but with the giant step backwards taken by the Bulls it appears any changing of the guard will not be done in Tampa or Orlando.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Before leaving Florida the uniform watch calls out the Seminoles who hosted Boston College, lost 27-17, suspended five wide receivers before the game and topped the debacle off by wearing all-black uniforms. Florida State sports Garnett and Gold colors and the tired all black look that peaked in the late ‘90’s only lends more evidence to the case against Bobby Bowden staying on as head coach. The Seminoles have improved from last year but the mourning suits worn by the players yesterday may get another chance to shine when Bowden is asked to step down.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

OK, we’re having too much fun in the sun so let’s finish off the Florida junket by commenting on the commentating during Miami’s thrilling 16-14 win over ACC rival Virginia Tech. It was Ring of Honor night at Dolphins Stadium and on hand were such legendary ‘Canes as Vinny Testaverde, Gino Torreta and Jim Kelly. ESPN announcer Jesse Palmer must have been feeling inadequate as the ex-Gator felt compelled to remind listeners several times that he did in fact play in the NFL for the New York Giants and San Francisco 49’ers. Palmer was paid to wear a uniform in the NFL but he will always be known as that dude on the Bachelor who forgot a contestant’s name during the rose ceremony rather than the mediocre quarterback who had to share snaps with Doug Johnson and Rex Grossman in Spurrier’s carousel system.

 

 

 

 

 

This week Notre Dame Athletic Director Jack Swarbrick said that the Irish are headed in the right direction and rumors of canning head coach Charlie Weiss are unfounded. He may be the only one who feels that way. The Irish did beat Navy, barely, to somewhat make up for last year’s embarrassing loss to the Midshipmen but the program is nowhere near where it was expected to be under Weiss’ leadership. Weiss came in with a sterling pedigree as the offensive mastermind of the Super Bowl champion New England Patriots but during his tenure in South Bend he has done relatively little other than watch former QB Brady Quinn work some magic with suspect talent. Why Weiss is being given such slack when Tyrone Willingham and Bob Davie were axed so fast is a mystery.

 

 

 

 

 

It’s the home stretch for the 2008 season and we present our picks for an 8-team playoff that would undoubtedly best anything the sorry BCS comes up with.

 

 

1)    Alabama – Nick Saban believes he can fly

2)    Texas Tech – Mike Leach can eat an entire horse in one sitting

3)    Florida – No, Spurrier, you can’t go home again

4)    USC – Would you like to talk about Oregon State?

 

 

 

 

 

5)    Oklahoma – Sam Bradford tired of throwing TD’s

6)    Utah – 45^th state admitted to the Union on January 4, 1896

7)    Texas – Burnt orange doesn’t look good anywhere, anytime

Ocho) Penn State – JoePa headed for more surgery, refuses to die