Snark Sharks

Hey, don't shove that old man

1968. 1969. 1994. If you’re a fan of Penn State then you know what those years mean. Three times in his endless career Joe Paterno has led the Lions to undefeated seasons and been left out of the national title game. And as Texas Tech snuck past Texas and leapfrogged the Lions in the BCS standings  to trail only #1 Alabama the folks in Happy Valley must be thinking WTF!!!

Penn State 2008 is 9-0 and just came off a huge win on the road against Ohio State. They have Iowa, Indiana and Michigan State left on their slate and could very likely finish the season Big 10 champs at 12-0. But if Tech and ‘Bama do the same it is quite likely JoePa and his band of plain uniform boys will have to settle for the Fiesta Bowl… in Arizona. Where no one will be.

Where the hell is DJ Dozier?

Is it fair? Well, is the BCS fair? It’s a suspect system run by shady men you don’t really know and like the mob and boxing you just don’t ask. But this could be the fourth time a Penn State team has finished undefeated and been deemed unworthy of playing for the title. The Big 10 with 11 teams has suffered of late because of Ohio State’s insistence on being the project bitch every time they play for a trophy and end up getting back hand slapped all over a field by some SEC pimp. But Penn State is Penn State, always a name and always a team you respect, just ask the ’86 Miami Hurricanes.

No it’s not fair and if there’s any justice for old man Joe the Tide will bow to Florida in the SEC title game and Tech will lose 96-87 to the Sooners so Penn State can enjoy a trip to Miami on January 8th where the Cardinals of Ball State will be waiting patiently on a branch like Cardinals do.

Lean back, breathe out, say "over-rated", repeat

So, Tech got the big win over Texas. And now the pundits are alive with the bullshit hype about the Big 12. Still not buying it. Yes, Oklahoma, Tech, Texas, Oklahoma State and Missouri are scoring an absurd amount of points but they always do and now they’re just doing it against each other and it’s inevitable that when confronted with an SEC school, USC or even Penn State these figments of passing fancy will come down to earth. Why? Oh maybe because it happens EVERY SINGLE YEAR.

Yup, that bad

The uniform watch was dazzled, dizzy and dumbfounded by the California – Oregon contest that saw the faggy white Ducks fall to a horrid and awful all-yellow Bears. Usually Oregon is the perpetrator in the fashion faux paus’ of college football but somehow the Cal kids managed to upstage their northern neighbors with the audacious and fundamentally unsound color of coward outfits. Cal won the game but the lesson should be clear, don’t do this.

By chance our 8 and the BCS have the same teams, but not in the same order. So there. Anyway, should the season conclude… right now, these 8 teams would make for a lovely playoff:

Damn Coach, you a 'lil thang

1)    Alabama – Crimson Tide have “likeability”

2)    Penn State – Best advice, beat everyone by 63 points

3)    Texas Tech – They did beat Texas, but maybe now others will too

4)    USC – We’ll call you if we need you, enjoy the beach

C'mon Colt, get up

5)    Texas – After team vote Horns decide to continue season anyway

6)    Florida – Gators second team this year to beat crap out of Georgia

7)    Oklahoma – Score all you want, no one cares

Eight)  Utah – Boise State gets whacked again by Utes for numero Ocho