Tigers Hit Commodore Floor
Hammerhead Snark | October 5, 2008
After last week’s stunning upsets college football returned to normalcy this weekend as Oklahoma, Missouri and USC went back to work manhandling lesser foes. However, upstart Vanderbilt, the over-privileged rich kids of the south, knocked off perennial SEC power Auburn to beg the question… what the fuck is wrong with Auburn (yikes)? The once-proud Tigers have lost to the Commodores and LSU, scored a meager 3 points against Mississippi State and in trying to implement the spread offense within their traditional running game have looked like special ed kids at unsupervised recess.
No disrespect to Vandy, the Commodores are 5-0 for the first time since 1943 and with Tennessee struggling could make a surprise move for the top spot in the SEC East with Florida and Georgia. But Auburn has made a mockery of itself this year and if the Tigers can’t see the logic in running Ben Tate and Brad Lester until defenses can stop them then the Tiger team with the War Eagle mascot deserves to suffer.
Auburn jumped out to a 13-0 lead behind the power running of Lester and Tate and a massive offensive line that was recruited to steamroll small defensive lines like Vanderbilt’s. Then the Tigers reverted to the recently adopted spread offense and watched as QB Chris Todd fumbled, stumbled and crumbled to the tune of 8 for 16 passing and 70 yards. Vandy clawed their way back and upset the Tigers behind the gutsy play of backup QB Mackenzi Adams two TD throws. We’ve heard for four weeks how Auburn is experiencing “growing pains” with the new offense when really what we are witnessing is a brain freeze by the Tiger coaches. Hey Tuberville, why not hold off on the spread until you have the personnel to run it? Watching 300+ pound lineman and Brahma bull running backs cleverly position themselves for plays designed for Boise State is both cruel and unusual. Almost as strange as listening to lead announcer Brent Musberger refer to any play in which more than two players handle the ball as “trickeration”. Not even a word, Brent.
JoePa is secretly watching you
The old joke of the Big 10 being a tractor pull continues. Sure, the Big 10 with 11 teams has talent and contenders but after watching Penn State grind through Purdue 20-6 on Saturday makes one wonder if the field’s in the conference aren’t just a little wider and the grass a little deeper. The Lion – Boliermaker trial was typified by Purdue’s train whistle rallying cry and Andre Ware commenting that Penn State would have to “out physical” Purdue before painfully stuttering on the word “phenomenal” until the studio cut to commercial. The game also featured the humorous site of Penn State’s 114 year old head coach Joe Paterno peering down from the press box in his signature dark shades looking more like a 1963 CIA spy than the leader of a Top 5 title contender.
Classic Cougars and USFL-like Aggies
The uniform watch caught both the good and the bad on Friday night as BYU ran over Utah State to win their 15th straight game. Recently BYU made a huge mistake when they tried blue helmets with a gold-circled white “Y”. The error didn’t last and now the Latter-Day Cougars have returned to their classic blue and white uniforms with white helmet and blue stripes and the cool team stickers on the back to offer a great example of what a college uniform should look like. BYU used to sport a more light blue color back when real Mormons like Jim McMahon spread the good word but have recently used a darker navy that adds a more refined presentation. Utah State may have been borrowing an idea from the USFL with their choice of outfits and it only made a bad team look worse.
Terp fans want an explanation
The Snark returns with the “Explain Yo Damn Self” seminar sponsored this week by Lehman Brothers. The Snark will mediate a discussion with the hapless Terrapins of Maryland and anyone who witnessed Saturdays fiasco. After stumbling early to Middle Tennessee State the Terps rebounded with huge wins over Cal and Clemson before yesterdays 31-0 drubbing at the hands of… Virginia? The Terps will gather on the main campus at Maryland and do their best to explain to fans and faculty what exactly yesterday’s performance says about their character. Anyone wishing to attend must check any and all weapons at the gate and offer at least one solid job prospect for the Lehman gang.
Thank you AP
Lastly the photo of the day comes from the Miami – Florida State clash that saw the Seminoles dash out to a 24-0 lead only to see the ‘Canes fight back to pull within 34-32 before the ‘Noles turned out the lights and brought a 41-39 victory back to Tallahassee. Storm clouds moved in and out of the area providing several downpours and perfect mood lighting for a once-classic battle of perennial powers. While neither school will be inching any closer the Snark 8 it does seem that the talent is returning to both sidelines and by next year Da U and FSU will be back among the big boys. For now we’ll settle for this wonderful shot of Greg Carr (18) and Brandon Harris (1) making an incomplete pass look breathtaking.
