College Football: Week 8
Hammerhead Snark | October 19, 2008
Depending on who you ask the Big 12 has either the most prolific offenses in the country or defenses that belong in the Whack-10. Colt McCoy has led Texas to 101 points in their last two wins against Oklahoma and Missouri and other unbeaten Big 12’ers Texas Tech and Oklahoma State are averaging 45 and 46 points a game respectively. Are these teams good? Sure. Can they stop anyone from scoring just as many points? Probably not. But even with a brutal four-game run in their schedule on the horizon Texas looks poised to take a shot at being hog-tied by either USC or the SEC winner in a BCS title game. The Horns did win it all in 2006 behind Vince Young and maybe McCoy can do the same but the Big 12 inspires as much confidence as Ohio State when it comes to title games.
And Coach Rod wept
How bad are things at Michigan? Consider that the 2-5 Wolverines just lost 46-17 to Penn State and players have given up brawling with opponents and are now reserving their anger for fellow Big Blue athletes. This past week back-up running back Mike Milano allegedly attacked Michigan hockey player Steve Kampfer. Last year Milano had 5 carries for 23 yards and it’s hard to understand why Coach Rich Rodriguez has not unleashed the fury that lies in this kid’s belly. Milano also wrestles for Michigan and is considering a future in international relations.
Chill, Eddie, chill
Another back up you don’t want to mess with, especially during an African-American Homecoming dance, is Illinois quarter back Eddie McGee. McGee is a bit more relevant to Illinois than Milano is to Michigan as McGee rushed 3 times for 55 yards in the Illini’s 55-13 win over Indiana but the aggressive 2nd stringer almost didn’t play after he threw a woman to the floor during a dance after he was poked in the eye. Next time dance organizer’s will consider not playing Wu-Tang Clan during the party or serving grain alcohol but McGee said he would take no chances from now on promising to come “fully strapped” to any future school function.
Hey, eyes on me... we look fabulous!
Clemson began a new era after Tommy Bowden resigned to take crap from brother Terry who said Tom deserved to go. Bowden family bullshit aside new head coach Dabo Sweeney instituted a player walk-through before games with Tigers dressed up in jackets and ties and brought back the classic all-orange home uniforms. Alas, the same players showed up in those uniforms and Georgia Tech beat Clemson 21-17 to drop the Tigers to 3-4 on the season.
This afternoon the BCS will release their rankings and if you care about post-season bowl games and popularity national championship games than by all means pay attention. As an alternative you can always consult the Snark 8, a fictitious poll that could be used to facilitate an 8-team December playoff for Division 1-A aka FBS aka BCS teams.
I'm Coach Carroll and I'm damn glad to meet you
1) Alabama: Tide survived Rebels with points and good manners
2) Texas: Horn hands sore from spanking Mizzou ass
3) Penn State: Lions not sure who those guys were in Michigan uniforms
4) USC: Trojans 69 Washington State 0. And LA yawns.
Matthew Stafford can so 80's dance
5) Florida: Week off spent making sacrifices in Tim Tebow’s name
6) Techlahoma Texas State: A combination of Oklahoma, Texas Tech and Oklahoma State since we just don’t believe enough in the Big 12 to rank each separately
7) Boise State: It’s those blue turf Bronco kids, don’t laugh at them
Eight) Georgia: Did Dawgs begin comeback or just expose overrated Commodores?
