Snark Sharks

Like this daddy?

Las Vegas bookmaker Sam “Ace” Rothstein has finally set down the odds for Miley Cyrus and her impending spiral into drugs, drinking and single motherhood.  Most odds books had decided to pull Cyrus off any odds making charts since most books took an incredible soaking on Jamie Lynn Spears pregnancy at the age of 16.  “Hey just because we took a bath on that Spears broad don’t mean we can’t make money on Miley.  I mean there’s some time there to get the spread.  Oh hey isn’t that what her dad said?”

Most casinos are still staying away from the statutory singer’s odds, due to an abject fear of the child star curse.  “Hey we know this broad is gonna end up going on a Britney/Lindsey style melt down ending in an extended stay in rehab and her beav splashed through out the tabloids.” said one casino bookmaker off the record “It’s going to happen sooner rather than later, and we just don’t feel that we have enough of a time window to make a profit.”  While Ace himself even agrees with that he thinks that the over/under line has enough potential to still bring a huge positive cash flow.  “Never under estimate the pedophile compulsive gambler demographic.  They have great net worth, and they are obviously risk takers” advised Rothstein.

Leibovitz Kiddie Porn

Further complicating setting odds on the Achey Breaky progeny are her leaked photos of the child star in her underwear, her incestuous Annie Lebowitz photo shoot with her father, and her new 20 year old aspiring underwear model beau.  Such a flurry of ill advised behavior shows that any handlers from the Cyrus camp have clearly lost their ability to judge what is right/wrong for a 15 year old child. “Hey a multimillionaire child, the offspring of a music star, no structure in her life style… This kid is just too toxic for us to lay odds on” another bookmaker told us.

“Hey you know this is Vegas alright?  If you don’t give the people something different to bet on they’ll just go to the next casino.”  Ace confided “You know over there at the Wynn they are giving odds on weather or not the David Blaine idiot will go blind during his next stunt.”  He further elaborated “The Bellagio they are offering odds on Gordon Ramsay getting stabbed in the next season of Hell’s Kitchen.   The Palms they got odds on Haley Joel Osment doing gay German shiza porn.  So you can see we have to keep out book diverse to bring in the whales.”  Below are the current odds that Rothstein’s Tangiers Casino is currently offering on Miley Cyrus.

Miley going "Lohan"?

Paparazzi Beaver Shot -  Over/Under Age 17

Sex Tape - Over/Under Age 19

Pregnancy - Over/Under Age 20

DUI - Over/Under Age 18

Rehab - Over/Under Age 21