Queer Eye on the Sports Guys

Hammerhead Snark | August 24, 2008
 

These Are My Legs

[/caption] Being the Snark’s resident homosexual (not gay mind you, that’s a culture and one Double H doesn’t mesh with) it’s time to launch my weekly feature known as Queer Eye on the Sports Guys. In this column I’ll will combine my skewered take on sports with a unique [...]
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He’s Better Than Right, He’s White!

Hammerhead Snark | August 23, 2008
 

The Real Black Irish

[/caption] US Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama named Senator Joseph Biden as his running mate for the 2008 election (story). Pundits speculate that Obama’s choice is rooted in the fact that Biden, a Senator from Delaware since 1972, has strong ties to blue collar voters, expertise on foreign policy, [...]
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The South Done Lies Again

Hammerhead Snark | August 22, 2008
 

Keeps quiet girl ors Grandad gonna beat yer hide with dis here feeyash

[/caption] Barely a week after two Georgia clowns were busted for faking a Sasquatch capture (wtf?) another Southerner has spun a tall tale that will eventually form a noose around his red neck. Matt Whitton and Rick Dyer finally ‘fessed [...]
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These Are The Ad Wizards…

Hammerhead Snark | August 21, 2008
 

And You Thought This Was A Bad Idea?

[/caption] Rather than just fix it’s lousy Vista software Microsoft has decided to dazzle television-staring morons with commercials to try to sell more of its lousy software. Microsoft will pay comedian Jerry Seinfeld $10 million to appear in ads with Bill Gates to push the [...]
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Poland Braces for Inevitable Invasion from Someone

Hammerhead Snark | August 20, 2008
 

Preparing to Greet New Conquerers

[/caption] Having just signed a controversial and strategically useless defense shield deal with the United States (bad idea) oft-attacked Poland has all but guaranteed it will be invaded yet again. The only question that remains is which war-mongering neighbor will trash their yard this time. Russia has indicated [...]
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George Bush Doesn’t Care About Black People…… And Endangered Species.

Great White Snark | August 19, 2008

Polar West Says George Bush Hates Endangered Species

[/caption] Ok ok.  So you already know that Kanye says that the Presidumb doesn’t care about black people.  But did you know that he also hates Albatross, Bears, Condors, Eagles and the rest of the critters on the endangered species list.  Now again - the [...]
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Yankees May Activate Pavano; Agent Begs To Differ

Hammerhead Snark |
 

Thanks George! Felling Much Better!

[/caption] Sensing another season slipping away the New York Yankees are determined to make injury prone prima donna Carl Pavano pitch some time this year. This is akin to renting a convertible and driving with the top down even if it rains simply because you paid for the [...]
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Mange Jello: Kemp Tempts Fate & Weight in Italy

Hammerhead Snark | August 18, 2008
 

Shawn Kemp Arrives in Italy

[/caption] Desperate for big men or just in search of a good laugh Italian basketball club Premiata Montegranano has taken responsibility for supervising the overweight alcoholic formerly known as Shawn Kemp (story). Once a fearsome power forward nicknamed the “man-child” the 6’10” Kemp quickly deteriorated in drink and [...]
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Patriot Owner Punishes Team With Sympathy Rings

Hammerhead Snark | August 17, 2008

Remember These?

[/caption] Having tried so hard for the past seven months to forget their crushing loss to the New York Giants in Super Bowl XLII New England Patriot owner Robert Kraft bitch-slapped his entire team back to reality by handing out the backhanded compliment “18-1” rings to the team in a private [...]
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Trump Intends to Make McMahon Work for Mortgage

Hammerhead Snark | August 16, 2008
 

Move Your Ass McMahon! This Ain't No Tonight Show, Bitch!

[/caption] Real estate tycoon and incorrigible asshole Donald Trump has agreed to buy the mortgage on the crumbling estate of former Tonight Show potted plant Ed McMahon (story). The 7,000 square foot mansion was once listed at $7 million but since McMahon had [...]
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