Snark Sharks

Form vs Function

You know here at the Snark our golf interest is limited to Tiger Woods on the Xbox 360, and playing once every 5 years while shotgunning beers on every green before being escorted from the course.  Our interest in women’s sports is equal to our interest in particle physics - which is to say none.  That leaves women’s golf with interest levels that are so hard to figure out you need a nerd herd from M.I.T. to even come close to figuring out the answer to that theorem.  However I can tell you when you come back with that particular integer it will be a negative number.

We still have no interest in women’s golf, but we did have a serious WTF moment with the LPGA’s announcement this week that any players that can’t speak English will be suspended from play. (Article Here)  Now I believe if you move to the United States, or live in the United States that you should be required to speak English.  Honestly though, I’m not sure that many born and raised in the US can speak English.  But that said shouldn’t we draw the line at forcing people who aren’t even citizens of our country to be fluent in English.

These rules were directed specifically at the large Korean contingent that has been finding it’s way into the LGPA.  On top of that by my count 16 of the top 30 money winners in 2008 have names that sound of some sort of Asian decent, really I couldn’t be bothered to complete that research more thoroughly though.  The Deputy Commissioner of the LGPA Libba Galloway didn’t even have the balls to admit that this new rule was just an attempt by the golf community and governing bodies to keep the yellow women down.  She used the clearly transparent beard this was actually a tool to help their “professional development”.  This is my favorite nugget from the horseface, I mean the horse’s mouth “There are more fans, more media and more sponsors. We want to help our athletes as best we can succeed off the golf course as well as on it.”

Are you serious?  More fans?  Really - what now there’s 4 people watching that aren’t the life partners and girlfriends of the women playing in the tour as opposed to 2?  More media?  Honestly?  Is Espn Ocho running some hardcore LPGA marathons that I’ve been missing out on?  More sponsors?  You have to be kidding me.  Unless they are forced package media buys for the PGA & LGPA.  The best part is one of the tour players from Korea (Seon-Hwa Lee) who is currently getting tutored English had this to say “”The economy is bad, and we are losing sponsors. Everybody understands.”

Plain and simple we know this is a case of to quote Chris Rock “If it’s all white, it’s all right”  It is common knowledge that the LGPA meets every year for rules changes at “The Meadows”, home of the mystery shrouded Pentavirate.  Nothing like a little English only rule, right before you put the ethnic cleansing cyanide tablets in the annual LPGA gift bags of the foreign players.

To add insult to injury for the Korean golfers that have this target directly on their backs, the announcement meeting for this change in bylaws was in English only.  On top of that when asked about the rule change after the meeting, all of those golfers left with understanding that if they were in violation of the new rule they would lose their tour card, not just be suspended.

Honestly what is the real problem with the Koreans on the tour having broken English?  I mean I understand the weird characters instead of numbers on the scorecard can be problematic.  But they don’t drive golf carts on the LPGA tour, so now issue there.  It’s not like they can play at the Master’s anyway.  So we won’t hear any comments from Fuzzy Zoeller about Kimchi on the menu