Foul Weather: Let the Leaching Begin

January 3rd, 2010

Either way it leaves one of college football’s most unusual and arrogant personalities in need of a team and with Miami listing in the waters of mediocrity at the hands of Randy Shannon the time has come for Miami to stop playing nicey nice with guys like former head coach Larry Coker and teams like Wisconsin and get back to the glory days of attitude, taunting, 50-point wins and at least one damn ACC title.

Posted in Sports Snarks | 1 Comment »

Mets Plead With Murphy: STAND UP!

April 30th, 2009

“You know some of us we come to play, you know, we here to win,” Santana seethed as he spit in Murphy’s direction, “but other guys, you know they like da da da de da I’m gonna f’ing drop the ball and oh no whoops go me.”

Posted in Sports Snarks | 11 Comments »

Yankees Looking to Buy Back Runs

April 29th, 2009

“We’re 100% satisfied with the performance of our ball club,” Hal said while running from angry fans throwing ticket stubs at him, “we just have a different definition of ‘mediocre’ than other teams.”

Posted in Sports Snarks | 2 Comments »

Beware of Sheff

April 4th, 2009

Sheff is a crazy man with a vicious swing and a temper that can ignite faster than a tinderbox.

Posted in Sports Snarks | 2 Comments »

Baby, Don’t Apologize

February 8th, 2009

This country of yellow-bellied cowards, union members and hedge fund managers doesn’t deserve an apology. What they deserve, in spades, is a well-placed slap across their smug faces for having the hypocritical nerve to expect contriteness from the very men they made into immortals. What’s the point of a pagan god if he can’t act like one?

Posted in Celebrity Snarks, Cinema Snarks, Political Snarks, Sports Snarks, Uncategorized Snarks | 11 Comments »

85 Things The Next Generation Will Never Understand

January 21st, 2009

Like most of the Snarks out there in their 30’s, a lot of my friends are spawning the next generation of ankle biters and it’s made me a bit introspective. So I compiled a list of 85 things that the next generation just won’t get.

Posted in Celebrity Snarks, Cinema Snarks, Crime Snarks, Music Snarks, Sports Snarks, Technology Snarks | 13 Comments »

Barkley Cancels Trip To Norway

January 4th, 2009

Barkley, known for excessive drinking, gambling debts, throwing people through windows and threatening to run for Governor of Alabama never got his blow job but rumor is his wife is considering a freebie should Sir Charles sober up in time for his court arraignment.

Posted in Crime Snarks | 9 Comments »

Israeli Dog Walks Encounter Hostile Response

January 3rd, 2009

The decision to use military equipment in transporting a select breed of attack dog is “purely coincidental” said the Director for Israel’s Gaza Dog Walking Project, Lt. Cpl. Avi Sharon.

Posted in Political Snarks, Uncategorized Snarks | No Comments »

The Floor Recognizes The Flashy Girl From Flushing

December 11th, 2008

Professional ear rapist Fran Drescher has decided to throw her widow peaked hat into the political ring for Hillary Clinton’s now vacant Senate seat.

Posted in Political Snarks | 1 Comment »

Crypt Keeper Enterprises Inc - To Add To Job Cut Misery

December 9th, 2008

First and foremost Ms. Havard advised us that regardless of the amount of staff that may be inline for pink slips Mr. Hefner would not be liquidating any assets as he would prefer that he not actually feel any of the effects of the economic downturn himself. The mansions, the jets, the paid girlfriends, the weekly stem cell therapy, and daily transfusions of blood from newborn babies would continue as scheduled indefinitely.

Posted in Celebrity Snarks | No Comments »